Uzumaki Harem
by Simple-Minded Idiot
Summary: Naruto is a king. A king with a harem. Yet he is a king without “love.” Sasuke is an adviser. An adviser who just happened to get caught in the middle of it all. [focuses on NaruSasuNaru]


Late!birthday-fic for NoNoWriter. (I hope that she likes it)

* * *

"Your Highness, the adviser has already come," one of the guards said.

Naruto let out a small yawn before he fixed his posture.

"Let him in then," he said.

Peace was actually more boring than he'd ever imagined. At least during wars, he was always kept on his feet. He was one of those warrior-kings. The type who wanted to be in the front line when it came to battles.

Though, for the sake of his own little – relatively speaking, of course, seeing as a large amount of people would say that the Uzumaki Kingdom was in no means something little – kingdom, Naruto would like peace to stay for a bit more. The people liked peace, so he'd try to like peace for their sakes.

In fact, peace was one of the reasons why this _adviser_ came to their kingdom.

This certain adviser worked for the Uchiha and was one of the Uchiha.

The Uchiha had been at war with Naruto's kingdom for quite a while now. Oh, say, around fifty years. A magnificently-made treaty had come into both parties' hands just four months ago and they had, aptly put, _decided to try it out_. If it didn't work, well, back to war they were.

Stated in this treaty that the two kingdoms were to trade advisers and these advisers should help their new kings the way they helped their original ones. The trade, of course, had a time limit – what kingdom honestly wanted to trade their own advisers, depending on the adviser's performance of course?

Three months. They were all given three months.

Naruto sighed. He sure would miss Shika.

A young king like him would definitely prefer a lethargic adviser rather than some old coot.

Well, at least Naruto was pretty damn sure that it was an old coot. The Uchiha were proverbial royalty, really. Stereotypical glorified royalty.

"Uchiha Sasuke!" the guard shouted, announcing the presence of the adviser.

And Naruto laid eyes on the most aesthetically-pleasing person that he'd ever seen.

Dark-colored eyes met bright blue eyes.

"I hope that it will be a pleasure working for you, Uzumaki-sama," said someone with a deeply rich and sultry voice.

Naruto's heart and loins were inconsolable.

He would miss Shikamaru. But it wasn't as if he was complaining right now.

* * *

"You seem very happy today, Naruto," Sai said. "I just wish that you'll stop moving."

Naruto nodded more absentmindedly than he ever had in his whole life. If Sai had already learned how to fully express his emotions, there would be a look of irritation on his face.

Painting Naruto was something not to be laughed at.

"What happened, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked in her usual shy voice.

"Pray, do tell, Naruto," Neji said as he flipped a page of his new pocket book. Well, the most interesting of things did happen to Naruto. It seemed as if "mundane" was not a word that Fate liked to associate with him.

"I met someone," Naruto dreamily said.

"Really?" Gaara murmured.

"Someone better than us?" Ino and Sakura instantly questioned.

"Yeah."

His eyes were glazed and he couldn't think of anything or anyone other than Uchiha Sasuke.

Ino's right eyebrow twitched and Sakura balled her hands into fists. That was utterly unacceptable! Naruto should know better to like them even more than some person that he'd just met! They were his concubines-but-something-better-than-that after all. They were the ones who stuck through him no matter what!

By this time, one would be right in assuming that Ino and Sakura were merely thinking about themselves, seeing as the others, especially the males, would not get jealous that easily. With the exception of Gaara every now and then.

Albeit, of course, none of them really were truly romantically interested with Naruto – except, perhaps, Hinata. But still! It hurt their pride to have been somewhat forgotten just as soon as someone new entered the scene.

Just before the two of them were about to literally knock some sense into Naruto's head, someone knocked on the door twice. And without having any permission to do so, the knocker opened the door and went inside the room.

"Uzumaki-sama," the knocker said, "I'm quite sorry to have intruded on... such a moment with you and your wives, but I would like to speak to you about certain programs that you might be interested in implementing."

"Sure thing, Sasuke!" Naruto said.

He practically bounced to where the knocker was.

"And that's Uchiha, by the way," the knocker said, irritation clear in his voice. "You and I, Uzumaki-sama, are by not close to each other at all."

The two of them soon left the room to go off to some other room to, most likely, talk.

"... Oh, god. We never had a chance," Ino said.

"But it'd be hot if he was also with us," Sakura continued.

"Yes, definitely."

"But I don't think that he looks interested," Hinata said, stammering on a few words.

"We'll make him interested then," Sai said, packing away his art utensils as it seemed that Naruto would not be returning for a long time.

"Are you interested in him, Sai-san?"

"He has a penis," Sai thoughtfully said, "and he looks enough of an eye-candy. Why not?"

"I agree with Sai's penis comment," Sakura chirped. "So we've got a majority then!"

"We still haven't voted," Neji drawled as he closed his book and put it on the nearby table, "so how can you say that the majority has already decided upon the matter?"

"You and Gaara aren't interested in the guy that Naruto fancies. And so is Hinata."

"And your point is?"

"It wouldn't matter what we chose because the three of you would just... back out. Or something," Ino said.

"I'm interested," Gaara said.

"No scaring the new guy, Gaara," Sakura said. "We want to take him _in_ the harem, not make him want to go out of the palace."

"He's going to make Naruto sad."

"Not if we can help it!"

"He already has Naruto on the palm of his hands and everyone knows that he's an Uchiha. He might've already seen that Naruto's head-over-heels with him and try to use it to his and his country's advantage."

"I'm sure, Gaara, that Sakura wouldn't want to take in someone who seems not worthy of our trust," Neji said. "Let's just leave this all up to her."

Sakura blinked.

"There's a catch, isn't there?" she asked.

"Of course there is," Neji said. "If anything goes wrong, it'll be your and Ino's fault."

"Blame Sai, too!" Ino complained.

"You and Sakura are the instigators, after all. You opened the option to Sai."

"Neji's such a misogynist," Sakura said, the venom in her voice very much present.

It was very clear that the darker version of Sakura was slowly emerging.

"As you are a blatant feminist," Neji retorted.

"You know what?" Sakura asked. "Fuck this. Fuck you, too."

Inner Sakura had always been very vocal with her insults.

"Oh, I will be," Neji said. "I do believe that I'm up for some _Naruto Time_ later."

* * *

Many had said that Naruto was very lucky to have gotten such beautiful wives and husbands.

Naruto thought himself to be lucky, too. But he just wanted more. Physical attraction was fine and all, but he wanted to have a deeper bond. Not one of the people in his little – yet again, this was relatively speaking – harem could give him that.

Sakura and Ino loved each other. Hinata was like his little sister. Sai saw of him as some sort of friend. Neji didn't really care and was there because he wanted to watch over Hinata. Gaara was like the brother that he never had.

Naruto wanted love. The romantic kind. The one where he could lose himself in.

And there was just something about Uchiha Sasuke that made him believe that perhaps the sour adviser _might_ be able to give him what he just wanted.

"Hurry up, Uzumaki-sama," Sasuke said, his voice borderline irritation.

Neji had the faintest idea that perhaps Naruto was a masochist.

* * *

Naruto was woken up from his rather deep sleep by, oddly enough, gentle prodding coming from a warm hand.

"Wake up," said someone in a rather soft and lovely voice.

Naruto had a silly grin plastered on his face. It had been ages since someone woke him up like that. It had been so long ago when caring hands woke him up. So long ago that he could barely remember it.

Sakura and Ino would usually kick or punch him. Hinata's hands – as filled with concern as they were – would be quivering whenever she tried to wake him up. Neji made him feel sore and all black-and-blue whenever he didn't get out of bed within five minutes of Neji being in the room. Sai would usually doodle on his face – little bastard. And Gaara didn't even wake him up.

"You have a meeting with the neighboring kingdom's council in thirty minutes," the same person said.

Naruto contentedly purred. Oh how he wished to be woken up like this each and every day.

"You really do need to get up," said the person who was trying to wake him up.

Naruto, thinking that perhaps he did owe this person for such a wonderful morning, opened his eyes. And found shocked dark-colored eyes looking back at him.

Sasuke withdrew his hand from its position on Naruto's shoulder as if he had just been burned. He really hadn't expected Naruto to just _wake up_ like that, judging from the stories coming from the man's harem. Perhaps they had told him wrong?

"I'm glad to see that you've finally woken up, Uzumaki-sama," he said.

He really did loathe the fact that he didn't have the heart to be cruel to people who were sleeping.

Naruto grinned at him.

"Well, well, Sasuke," Naruto said.

"Well, well, what?" Sasuke asked. "And that's Uchiha."

"But I like Sasuke better!"

"Just shut up and get ready for the meeting."

He glared at Naruto before he left the room.

Naruto's grin widened. He was pretty sure Sasuke was blushing.

Naruto could hear his heartbeat speeding up. He felt his face heat up as if he had a fever. He laid back on bed. He smiled like the lovestruck boy that he was.

... At least he wasn't alone.

Sai thought that Naruto looked very nice. To paint and sketch, that was. It was the richness of emotions in those blue eyes that were so enchanting.

* * *

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura said in the sweetest voice that she could muster.

"Would you like to join Sakura and I for tea?" Ino asked.

Sasuke internally sighed before he turned around to greet the two _queens_ – though by this time, he thought that they were more like queers than queens.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-san, Ino-san," he said, trying to keep his voice as polite as he could under immense irritation. "I'm rather busy today."

"Tomorrow then?" Sakura asked.

"I'll see. Thank you for the offer though."

"Sure thing! We'll just come around tomorrow to ask if you can spend some time with us. After all, you're only here for around three months."

"How considerate of the two of you."

Sakura and Ino brightly smiled at him before they walked out of his personal quarters. Sasuke let out a sigh of relief.

Naruto snarled at the two women when he saw them walk out of Sasuke's room. He dragged the two of them into the next hallway.

"Okay, you two, speak up," he said, sounding rather menacing.

Ino crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"We just wanted to know more about him," she said.

"Just don't bother him, okay?" Naruto asked.

"We like him, Naruto," Sakura said all of a sudden.

"I like him, too, but at least I don't come onto him like that!"

"And that's why you're not going anywhere! You're just not aggressive enough!"

"I can do this on my own! I'll do it my own way!"

Ino snorted. "If we follow your way, you'll be trying to run after him until you get blue balls or something."

"Don't say that!" Naruto whined.

"No whining, Naruto! It won't help solve anything!"

Before Naruto could open his mouth to retort, Sakura said, her voice having an authoritative edge to it, "Listen to me, Naruto. No more dilly-dallying. You want Sasuke in the harem. Ino wants Sasuke in the harem. Sai's interested. Most of all, I want that guy in the harem. He's cute, he looks fun to play with, and he's got that attitude that none of you all have. I will not stop _nagging_ you until I get a piece of that ass, is that clear?"

Sakura sure had more of those out-of-character moments nowadays. Made her as scary as hell.

Naruto quickly nodded and went to Sasuke.

Ino patted Sakura on the back, all the while saying, "You're the best, forehead." It was a job well done. For today at least.

* * *

Sasuke looked at the clear blue sky and sighed. His hands clutched the stone bench that he was sitting on. The surface of it felt very rough to his soft hands.

He wouldn't admit it, but he missed home a lot. This kingdom... just wasn't home. The people were nice, at least that he could admit, but it just was different.

He wanted to go home. But that would mean that he was chickening out which equated to being a coward. Which would not please his parents at all – he could just imagine his father's eyebrows seemingly intersecting and revealing creases on that broad brow, and his mother's soft smile that contradicted with the disappointment in her eyes. And Itachi.

"Are you alright, Sasuke-san?" someone asked.

He turned around and saw one of the women in the king's harem. Hinata, was it?

She was the quiet one. The only sane _and_ quiet one in that particular harem.

Recently, he had been receiving advances from the pink-haired and blonde girls. Of course, Sasuke, being the relationship idiot that he was, had only found out that the girls really were _hitting_ on him, to say the least, when that Sai had told him. And in a rather... vulgar way, too.

"Yes, I am," he said. "What do you want from me, Hinata-san?"

Hinata twiddled with her index fingers first before she uttered, "Oh, I was just checking up on you."

"Who gave you orders to do so?"

"Naruto-kun. He's worried about you. He said that you looked a bit distressed."

Sasuke frowned then pursed his lips. Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto. The perplexing king that ruled over this kingdom.

"Is he now?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes," Hinata said.

Silence filled the gap between the two of them for around a minute or so, then she said, "Would you mind if I sat beside you, Sasuke-san?"

Sasuke shook his head. It would do no good to refuse one of the royalty.

She shyly approached him and sat beside him. Then she looked at the sky. Sasuke got the time to look at her and scrutinize her as he did with most people.

"Naruto-kun," she started, "really likes you, Sasuke-san."

"So is it your turn now to make me a part of his harem?" Sasuke wryly asked.

"I'm just saying the truth."

Hinata had never thought that she could ever sound confident, but Naruto was special and deserved her confidence. She would be strong just for him.

"Do not kid with me, Hinata-san," Sasuke said.

He then walked out.

It was only when he got out of the place that he looked at his hands. They looked a bit red. He didn't even know why he was clutching the bench tightly.

"I'm sure that you'll also come to like Naruto-kun," Hinata said once Sasuke wasn't to be seen. "He's... just like that."

Like the way fire attracted moths.

* * *

Sasuke knocked once before he entered Naruto's room.

"You called for me, Uzumaki-sama?" he asked.

Naruto turned around the stool he was sitting on to look at Sasuke.

They were so close.

"I... Sasuke... I wanted to–" Naruto started to say.

Sasuke's eyes widened for a moment, as if he'd understood just what exactly was going to happen. What Naruto was going to say.

"I'm... going home tomorrow, Naruto," Sasuke said in a soft voice. "It was nice working for you. It really was. I'll never forget everything that happened. I won't forget you.

"At first I thought that it was rather foolish for you to have ascended the throne amidst the other heirs that this kingdom had. But then, I started to see that you loved the people. You were passionate about everything. And I suppose that that's quite enough."

And then he walked away just like that, leaving Naruto alone in his room.

"Sasuke..." Naruto whispered. "I wanted to tell you that I loved you."

Sakura bit her finger, Ino covered her mouth, and Hinata closed her eyes tightly. They had all heard everything.

* * *

Cats and dogs were falling from the sky. Pouring everywhere. Drenching them like it never had before. Naruto found this too climactic of an ending. Or clichéd.

"I'll even give up being king just so that I can be with you!" he shouted over the rain.

"I'm going home, Naruto," Sasuke said, "and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Don't leave me alone!"

Naruto could taste the rain in his mouth. He could hear the desperation in his voice.

Oh, god. Was this really love?

"But you're not alone. You have everyone," Sasuke said.

"Everyone but you!" Naruto exclaimed. "Why can't you understand that?!"

"I need to go now. They're waiting for me."

"I'm waiting, too! I've been waiting all this time."

"Stop it then. Stop waiting."

"I did stop waiting! That was when you came in! And now that you're going to go away, I'd have to wait again!"

"Why do you keep on making yourself depressed? You could easily forget about me."

"I'm not making myself depressed! You're making me sad, Sasuke. I can't... I just can't forget like that."

"If you can't forget, then I will."

Sasuke turned his back on Naruto and began to walk away in the same fashion that he had yesterday.

Naruto, of course, would not allow that. He'd be mad if he did. He finally had his small piece of heaven. He wasn't going to let it walk away just like that. He wouldn't let _Sasuke_ walk away just like that.

He ran. He ran with all his might. He ran while being powered by his desperation. He ran to the one person that he needed the most.

Today was filled with a lot of clichés. And if today had been a normal day, Naruto would've been irritated at himself since he didn't like doing or experiencing things that seemed historically redundant.

And then Naruto up and did the most un-clichéd and rational yet lamest thing that could ever happen in such a scenario. He tripped. He gripped Sasuke's leg, too.

The unsuspecting Sasuke also tripped.

Now, both of them were covered in mud, Naruto more so than Sasuke because the latter had been wearing a cape – a warm one, Naruto had to admit – while Naruto, the lovestruck fool, had rushed into the rain, thought it most likely was already a storm by then, with his everyday wear.

Sasuke kicked Naruto's head which resulted in his leg being freed from Naruto's hand. He sat up straight and glared at Naruto.

"I'm going to be sick because of you," he said.

"I want to be with you!" Naruto shouted over the rain.

"You'll just have to learn to be alone then!"

Sasuke was sick of all of this. He just wanted to go home. Go back home where things weren't complicated in the least bit. Where he didn't feel so out-of-place. Where he was comfortable.

Naruto was foreign territory.

Naruto crawled to where Sasuke was and put his muddy hands on the latter's cheeks.

"Listen to me," Naruto pleaded.

"I am listening," Sasuke said. "You just don't know what you're saying."

"I know what I'm saying! Who would know my feelings better than myself!"

"But you're an idiot. Of course you wouldn't know much."

"Shut up, Sasuke! Just shut up! I'm being serious here and you're... you're fucking with me! I don't even know why I fell in love with you in the first place!"

Naruto had the vaguest idea though.

Sasuke was just perfect in his eyes. Perfection was something Naruto had never been well-acquainted with. So he strove to get perfection.

Sasuke covered Naruto's left cheek with his hand.

"I'm a want, Naruto, not a need," he said. "At least that's how it is for you."

Naruto shut his eyes tightly.

"No one... no one will want you more than I do," he said, his voice sounding rather hoarse in his ears.

"Maybe so," Sasuke said, placing his hand on Naruto's cheek back to its original position, "but there are others who need me more than you may ever want me."

"Just let me be selfish this once!"

It was hard. Really hard. He had, for as long as he could remember, given up everything for his people. And now, oh god, he really couldn't care about his people. About everyone else. He would be alright with ruining the treaty with the Uchiha just as long as he could have Sasuke.

"That's... just like you," Sasuke said.

"Stay with me," Naruto said.

"I need to go home."

"Stay with me," he said with more force in his voice.

"I_want_ to go home."

"I know that you love me, too."

"Assuming is the worst thing you can do."

"It's the truth, isn't it?!"

The conversation had made a complete turn. And not even Sasuke cared that what they were saying next positively had nothing to do with what they said a couple of seconds ago.

"You're blinding yourself, Naruto," Sasuke said.

"You're not helping yourself, either!" Naruto exclaimed. "You keep on giving these mixed signals and all! What the hell was I supposed to think?!"

"You should think like any other sane man when they receive the same treatment that I give you. You should be thinking that I'm not interested. At all. And that you should stop doing all these silly things."

"But I'm not like everyone else!"

"That's the problem. Apparently, you're _in_sane."

Naruto opened his mouth, and then closed it soon after. Was Sasuke... was Sasuke possibly giving into him? Sasuke was giving hints now. Hints!

"I could be on the way home now. I could be warm," Sasuke said.

"But you're not," Naruto said.

"And it's because of you."

"Yes, it's because of me."

"Don't you even feel sorry?"

"No, I don't. Because I'm trying to convince the love of my life to stay with me."

"You sound corny. Listen to all that romantic shit that you're spouting."

"I don't care as long as you're convinced!"

"But I'm not."

_'So what will you do about it'_ went unsaid, but it was pretty much obvious. Or so Naruto liked to think.

He also liked to think that perhaps a kiss would fix it all. Going with his instinct, Naruto leaned on Sasuke and kissed the guy. Sloppily. Not at all what he would expect his first kiss with the guy that he loved.

Sasuke pulled away and looked at Naruto.

And then he just... laughed.

Naruto laughed, too.

And the two of them thought that they were idiots. Everyone else thought that they'd gone insane.

"I'm not yet convinced though," Sasuke said after he stopped laughing. "But I would require an empty scroll and a decent quill later."

Naruto grinned at him.

* * *

Naruto sneezed.

Sasuke followed suit. And then he sneezed. After that, he glared at Naruto.

Naruto chuckled as he scratched the back of his head. He thought that he sounded funny.

Hinata happily gave the two of them some hot chocolate. Sakura and Ino prattled on and on about how worried they and everyone else were. Neji and Gaara merely eyed Sasuke. And Sai, his pencil, and his sketch pad were having a field day.

All was well.

* * *

Comments are much appreciated. Or is it will be much appreciated? I have the vaguest idea that this would just be filled with mistakes as I mostly did this while being pressured by school-related things. (Mmm. No lie this time, actually.)

Perhaps HP fans are also well-acquainted with the last line?


End file.
